illustrated cat with paw out scratching the cat-astrophe agency

Our Cats

We don't just hire any cats. We look for the worst — the ones who are impossible to train, relentlessly stubborn, and have a gift for causing trouble when you least expect it. These are the cats you won’t find at a regular pet adoption center, but they’re perfect for anyone who needs a professional source of irritation. Each cat in our agency is available for hire with a detailed breakdown of their particular skill set, quirks, and level of menace. Check out Our Cats page to meet the team!

Whiskers "The Midnight Yowler"

Specialty: Late-night serenades and unprovoked meowing marathons.

illustrated siamese cat meowing
Illustration: Shannon Readle

Claws "The Furniture Annihilator"

Specialty: Scratching your furniture, curtains, and anything that can be ruined.

illustrated cat stratching furniture
Illustration: Shannon Readle

Tiggy "The Countertop Raider"

Speciality: Stealthily jumping onto counters and knocking over food, glasses,
and anything that isn’t nailed down.

illustrated cat knocking over a cup
Illustration: Shannon Readle

Luna "The Lurker"

Speciality: Sitting quietly in corners, staring at you intensely until you feel uncomfortable.

illustrated cat looking mean
Illustration: Shannon Readle

Testimonials

"I hired Whiskers for a full month of mayhem, and my sister-in-law has not had a full night of sleep in weeks! The constant meowing 3 AM is driving her crazy! Highly recommend!" – Lucy B.


"Claws has destroyed every chair in my neighbor’s house. He is running out of furniture, but honestly, I’ve never been so entertained. I’m signing up for the next month of havoc." – Mark T.


“Tiggy has knocked over several coffee cups and plants on my co-workers desk. She is absolutely frustrated. Tiggy is amazing!” - Susan N.